The Task Isn't the Point, The 10 Minute Task We Made Complicated

Growing up, a thank you note wasn't optional. Every birthday, every Christmas, every gift, you sat at the table until it was written. As an adult, that ritual quietly disappeared, replaced by a quick text, until a handwritten note in the mailbox stopped me in my tracks and made me ask why.

In this episode, we dig into why we let go of small rituals like this one, what it reveals about the tasks we resist, and why leaning into the thing we've been avoiding usually feels lighter than staying in the resistance around it. This isn't about ditching your phone or bringing back etiquette for its own sake. It's about noticing where you've traded slow, intentional things for fast, easy ones without ever really choosing to, and what it might give you back to choose slow again, just once, on purpose.

Grab a pen. This one might have you writing a note before the episode's even over.

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 Website: https://oliviabellco.com

I hope you find some time today for some peace, some plants and some paws!

☮️🌿🐾

Jo

Transcript

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Speaker 0:10

Welcome to Untamed and Unfiltered Wellness, the podcast where we bridge the gap between modern life and ancient roots, cutting through the wellness noise so you can stop guessing and start building a lifestyle that actually works for you. I'm your host, Jo Swensson, herbalist and founder of Olivia Bell.

Speaker 0:29

When I was a kid, my mom made me write thank you notes. Every birthday, every Christmas, every gift, no matter how small, I'd sit at the kitchen table with a stack of cards and a pen, and that was that. But as an adult, I have completely fallen off. Maybe I'll remember to send a text, and well, that's about it. But here's what got me thinking about this. I recently received a thank you note. An actual handwritten in the mailbox thank you note. As I stood there holding it, I was feeling something I wasn't expecting. Something between touched and a little bit ashamed, if I'm honest. Because I couldn't remember the last time I'd sent one myself. So I sat with that for a minute. When did I stop? It's not like I decided one day that thank you notes were beneath me. It just got easier, gift after gift, year after year, to send a text instead. And each time it felt harmless. Nobody was hurt, nobody said anything. But somewhere in there, without ever choosing it on purpose, I traded the note for the text permanently. And I think that's worth sitting with for most of us, because I doubt I'm the only one.

Speaker 1:37

A lot of us didn't decide to let go of these things. We just got a little more efficient, one small choice at a time, until efficiency became the whole system. Am I resistant to writing the thank you note because of the task itself or because my current life has made it easier to shoot off a text? And I think it's bigger than that, honestly. I think a lot of us are resistant to these little forms of etiquette that we used to just know how to do. And receiving that thank you note in the mail really cracks something open inside of me. So here's what I mean. There's a ritual to this. When my mom Amy sat down to write those notes, it wasn't really about the manners. Well, maybe it was, but it was also about the gratitude, giving it somewhere to go. When we sit down, we slow our hands, and we have to actually think about the person and the gift long enough to put our gratitude into words. Slowing down in this case isn't learning a new skill. For most of us, it's returning to something we already know how to do. We've just stopped practicing it. Now, here's where it gets interesting, because from a nervous system standpoint, the tasks that we resist the most are the ones that we keep putting off. But in actuality, they're often smaller and simpler than we've made them out to be in our heads. We build up all this resistance around them, and that resistance itself becomes bigger than the task ever was. A thank you note takes us 10 minutes. But if you haven't written one in years, it can feel like a huge undertaking. And what tends to happen when we actually lean into the tasks that we've been resisting, we come out the other side feeling lighter. Not because the task was hard and we conquered it, but because the resistance was the hard part. And once we're through it, it's just done. So here's what I want to offer today. Take time to write a thank you note. Write it by hand, sit down, slow your hands, and while you're writing, stay open to whatever feelings come up. Don't chase them, just notice them. That's the whole practice. You can write a letter or a thank you note to somebody that you're grateful for that's maybe influenced your life. Because for me, the note was never really the point. It was an entry point back to myself. And I want to offer that to you. If there's a task that you're resisting, face it, do it, and find that way back to yourself. If you want to take this a little bit further and you are fortunate enough, write a thank you note to your mom or give her a call. Not because you owe her anything, but in honor of everything she has given us by making, well, for me, sitting at the kitchen table, year after year, writing those thank you notes, whether I wanted to or not.

Speaker 4:18

If this episode stuck with you today, join our Substack community where we can explore this idea a little bit further. You'll also find some reflection questions, herbal remedies, and a community of like minded people. It's free to subscribe. The link is in the show notes. I hope you make some time today and every day. For some peace, some plants, and some paws. Thank you so much for listening to Untamed and Unfiltered Wellness.